Just Call Me John…

I cruise skincare like a bachelor (we hope)  in a brothel    Show me a pretty bottle that makes promises, and I’m fisting over the cash.  It’s shameful. 

Tired of being seen fondling the packages for women twice my age (ok, exacly my age, shutup), I turned to the internet.  Cyber-skincare, where you can share your deepest desires (oh, baby,  fill my…wrinkles) and get exactly what you want (Firm!  Smooth,! Even-toned!).   But it isn’t cheap.   The first house of beauty said they’d pimp my face for just over $78, and the second was gonna do me for $62.    They’d even come to my home, so no one would know.

The question is…do I believe that they can give me a happy ending?    Can they do what all the other contenders  in my bathroom failed to achieve? 

Hi, my name is darksnark, and I’m a productaholic.