And there I was without my ticket book…

  As always, I begin with a qualifier.  I do not pretend to be on the cutting edge when it comes to couture.  However, as a duly self-deputized member of the fashion police, I know wrong when I see it.  And boy did I see it…

As a potential substitute teacher I had to attend an orientation meeting.  There were probably 100 people there.  Many people who apparently do NOT have mirrors, friends, or common sense.

Yes, I am talking to you woman in plaid corduroy pants.  What were you thinking?  And pairing them with crocs?   No honey…just…NO. 

Elderly woman who looks pretty damn good for pushing 60?  Yes M’am, you.  If you’re gonna pack your ass in those pants like a teenager, you have to lose the panty lines.  And by the way?  Those underwear were waaaaay too small for you. 

Guy with the Tom Selleck (but nothing else) mustache?  I didn’t know they still sold Drakkar Noir, do you buy it by the 55 gallon drum?

Woman from India?  We respect your culture, and your outfit is pretty cool, but all that jingly stuff was pretty distracting considering that you could not sit still.  I had a craving for ice cream for hours.

Guy in sweatsuit?  Your wife does not love you if she let you leave the house that way.

Chunky woman in too small running shorts and thong?  TMI, really.  And btw, yes, the presenter was mocking you for munching your way through the meeting.

Man who kept raising your hand to ask questions?  Shut up already.   Was that pocket protector vintage? 

Society is falling to hell one bad fashion statement at a time.  What happened to the good old days when underwear were private, clothing actually fit, and plastic shoes were only worn by dolls?   I need to carry a gavel and knock sense into people…